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I remember I used to ask myself all the time "did I make the right decision coming to Melbourne?" And I've always wondered what happened if I were to have choosen to stay and study locally. Maybe I wouldn't have been so distant with so many people, maybe I would have gotten better results, maybe I would be more rooted to my culture. So many maybes, so many what ifs.
But finally, after two years, I've gotten the answer for myself.
No.
I have never regretted my decision to leave this place. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me, and this was where my life started.
In fact, the reverse is true now. I ask myself "why do I bother coming home?"
This land feels so foreign I can't even begin to describe how miserable my past week has been.
I've been back for a week now, and this week made me realise a lot of things. I've grown too distant with so many people that this place has become so meaningless. Since my best friends left overseas, I already knew that I would not find comfort here anymore. Last summer was the biggest joke of my life, and this summer is probably going to be the same. Thank goodness I'm starting work soon, else I'd seriously book a ticket to Singapore/Hong Kong/Bangkok. I'd die if everyday were like how I spent my past week.
I'm trying to spend as much time with the family. Have been in with the sister for most times, but mummy is busy during the day, and sometimes I want my own life at night. Even planning for a family holiday now is hard seeing everyone has different working schedule.
As for the people here, there are so many people I want and should be meeting up with, but I don't know how or where to begin. I don't think I'm mentally or emotionally prepared yet. There's always going to be culture shock the first meetup, there's always going to be awkwardness with the people you've lost connection with, and then there is the friends that you know no longer care but still have to see because they are still within the social circle. I guess sometimes distance can be a good thing, it made me see things and people a lot clearer.
Even my mother has start to realise how fond I'm becoming of my overseas life, culture, and lifestyle. Today she was just asking me "why didn't you want to stay longer? I could come to visit you then since it's summer now". Honestly that was suppose to be the plan, for us to go to Sydney then back, but it didn't work out, and of course the practical reason being I have no money left for me to stay the whole summer ):
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Christmas/New Year/Chinese New Year.
Two more months!
Let's just hope this two months go by quickly.
Everything will turn out fine once work starts *i hope*
FOURMOREDAYS! A new beginning awaits you, Aud! (':
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