Blessed

When nerd meets stress.

I am extremely grateful over everything that happened today. Today was my Maths paper and believe it or not, I was so so so happy when the paper ended. The feeling of excitement wasn't because I could do the paper extremely well, but I felt so blessed throughout the whole three hours and ten minutes. It was as if I wasn't sitting for the paper alone, but God was there with me and I could feel it this time.

I know that everyone has been praying for my exams, and even mummy told me that my exam was one of the things in the list for prayer items during bible study. But it never occurred to me that God would bless my like how he did today. I always thought by praying, God would give me the wisdom before so I can study and concentrate well for my exam. But today, I felt something different. I felt God's presence while doing the Maths paper. Honestly, the paper wasn't exactly as hard as I would imagine it to be, but there were a few parts that made me doubt myself.

After I did the paper for the first time, I counted my marks to 'estimate' my grade and I got merely above 100 and I was depressed cause I needed hopefully a 120 or above. Of course I didn't do a lot of questions yet like the last two and a few of the statistics, but there was no point for me to do it again cause.. if I can't do it the first time, what made me think I can do it the second time?

Exasperated, I stared at my question paper and formula sheet looking for a formula to use for a simple two mark statistic question. I was so close to giving up, and then I prayed. I just prayed and prayed and at the same time I stared at that question wondering why I can't understand something so simple. It's only two marks, I don't think it should be anything difficult, no?

All of a sudden I get hit by a wave and realised what I didn't understand, and just like that I could do that question. Following that was a one mark question, and following that was another two mark question. It was something simple and no formula required and I felt like slapping myself for spending so much time on that, but I was extremely grateful to God for giving me that sudden realisation wave.

But my biggest thanks to God came at the second last question, which was the heaviest question that contained the most marks. I couldn't even start off to begin with and I spent a good 10 minutes just to read the question wondering why I couldn't get it. I was even wondering whether the question was wrong or not, but when I looked around, no one seemed to have said anything, so I got disappointed. But after a while, again I got this epiphany! I realized that I interpreted the question wrongly the whole while and I was actually embarrassed at myself for misinterpreting something so simple, coming from an English-educated background. I guess in times of stress, anything is possible. But with God, he removed all obstacles! And I could actually see the light while doing the whole sixteen marks. I don't know whether or not I did it right, but at least I know that I could do it, and better yet, I did it WITH God's help! :)

because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”

[Hebrews 13:5]