Driver's dilemma

Granddaddy came back from China on Thursday, and he just went home this morning. So now there's no more extra car for me to use. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It's good that I don't have to be driver anymore, but then there's no car for me to go out on my own now :(

By the way, mummy's car is fixed already!

(If you don't know yet, there was something wrong with the driver seat few weeks back)

Went to the mechanic three Saturdays back but they said that I had to leave the car overnight, so I sent it on the Thursday after and got Juan Gin to do me a favour. He drove me back after class so I could get the car, and followed me to the mechanic where I left the car for a night, and sent me back after that *paiseh* Went back to the mechanic the next day after class to collect the car and mummy has never been happier.

I thought that after fixing the car she can finally drive and I don't have to drive anymore, but I was wrong.

"Don't get your license so early! Confirm you'll regret after one month cause have to become driver one"

I finally understand. Too late :(

Have been running errands for mummy and I'm so drained already. I've been sending the sister to Monash for the past three weeks since I have the car. It's not that I mind doing the favour, but sometimes I don't like it when I plan to go to college early but I can't cause I've to send her.

Two nights ago, I got fed up of studying and went downstairs for a break, and I saw mummy and the grandparents sitting down on the dining table. I sat down with them only to find out that they were discussing on getting a car and getting me to stay here for another year.

And then, last night, grandmummy told mummy that she wanted to give us the car because they can travel by motorbike at home, but of course we didn't want cause it will be inconvenient for them.

Earlier this year, mummy said that she wanted me to go overseas as soon as possible, but now she's thinking of getting a car so that I can stay for another year.

Honestly, I don't know where to go. A part of me wants to go overseas next year, but another part of me wants to stay here. It's true that I want to go. I want to start afresh, and see the world from a different perspective. Mummy always said that she wants me to go cause I'll develop a different kind of thinking. And of course, I feel like I need a break from my 17 years here.

Then again, I'm not sure whether I want to go just yet. I'm not ready to go so fast. I'm afraid of leaving so quickly, and being alone. Now that I've seen how hard it is to be the dependent one, I really don't think that I'm capable. And life here is so good, am I ready to give it up so quickly? This is my home, the place where food is abundant, and there is no worry. This is where yumcha is a phone call away eventhough it is 2am. Where else can we have 24 hour mamak sessions?

I don't know. Really.

Oh well, time will tell :)